im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm getting married
To pizza
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
