dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
