dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
