No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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