Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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