i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
