Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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