I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
