Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
