i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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