so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You can't just leave with hair like that
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
