So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
