he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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