The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am mentally ready for anal.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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