I bet he comes in French.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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