the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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