I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
