I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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