im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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