3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
