remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
