Don't make out with my wife yet
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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