hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
