my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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