why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
