ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
