How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
this hospital has no fireball
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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