Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
