I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
