i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
