mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
