I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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