it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My dick has a subreddit
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
