Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I am available for nakedness
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
