Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
