I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
