saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
