I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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