I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
