Already got asked if we're dating
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
