She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
