i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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