I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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