I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my sisters under your porch take her home
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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