We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
