It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
