i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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