Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
