am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
zippers are such a cool invention
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
