Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
