im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
