VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
