90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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