Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
