So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
