I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
